TOP 10 REASONS WHY I HATE MARVEL

robbiebaldwin:
comicartistevolution:
brevoortformspring:
1. Squirrel Girl and frikkin’ Hawkeye get more exposure than my favorite character! How dare you?

2. Actually, you’ve killed my favorite character off! Stop making me angry, Marvel! You wouldn’t like me, when I’m angry!

3. Your comics don’t cost 15 cents anymore!

4. Because you don’t allow Mike Deodato Jr. to draw every single one of your comics!

5. M.O.D.O.K.

6. Why is Star Wars still not 616 canon? HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY DARTH VADER VS DOCTOR DOOM FIGHT?!

7. Oh, so now you want me to believe, that Adam-X can’t stop the Incursion all on his own? Well, excuuuuuseee me, but I believe to know my Marvel comics a little bit better than you do!

8. STOP HATING ON THE X-MEN, GOSH!!!

9. She-Hulk’s muscles turn me on big time. That’s weird.

10. Just admit already, that Hulk would beat Odin in a fist fight! He is the strongest one after all!

God damnit Marvel, get your **** together once and for all, or I’ll punch a puppy in the face!
I also hate you for the story I made up in my head based on a teaser image you released once!
Hey, I can play this game too!
1. I just HATE how your company overworks artists with the brutal doubleshipping schedules that lead to nigh-endless delays and low quality product!
2. Isn’t it like, kind of ironic that a decade ago your company only let a black man write “Captain America” with “…and the Falcon” tacked on there, and then when Falcon becomes Captain America with an announcement on Colbert Report you haven’t got a black creator on it?
3.Fabricating legal documents to have a stranglehold on a property called “Strikeforce Morituri”? Really? Do I have to go further into the (il)legal matters iceberg that is your rights-hoarding company?
4. Where the fuck is the monument to Carol Kalish, the person who genuinely maintained your company through the 80s despite such idiotic business moves by EiC Jim Shooter like killing Phoenix despite the consistent increase in sales of books she appeared on the cover of?
5. Image Comics and the infinite badness it indunated 90s comics with happened due to your company treating talent like disposable shit. Then you filed Chapter 11. Not your finest fuckin hour.
6. You literally haven’t hired a female letterer that I can find a published credit for in 4 and a half years. The highest percentage of women among your creator roles are editors. A whopping third. Everything else is maybe a quarter, a fifth, a sixth. The number of black and non-white writers who’ve done more than one issue can be counted with fingers and toes.
7. I hate the visual aesthetic you choose to portray and market. I’m sorry, “market”, considering you ran a radio ad in the 2010s for comic books, you seem to have a loose understanding of how to reach people.
8. Contractually demanding someone can never say anything bad about Marvel? Not allowing artists to display work made for Marvel without permission? If an artist swipes or traces a comic published by Marvel, the person who created the original art isn’t the violated one, because for all purposes, the creator is removed from the creation, legally. Marvel is an “artist” who makes nothing, a regular Jeff Koons or Damien Hirst, but claims so much.
9. Why is there so much fascist over and undertones in your comics? Was I supposed to be afraid of the gross misuse of power by Avengers in such recent titles as Hickman’s run or Spencer’s Avenger’s World? Did you clean-slate your mind on the Bush years like you had Tony Stark do?
10. You know why Kirby’s estate sued. Fuck you. Fuck your official history of Marvel Comics, fuck your rights-trolling, fuck your prog-washing obnoxious ungenuine $4.99 floppies that give me migraines from ink fumes when I open a new issue.
No wonder you like workin’ on Dizzy’s farm.